Me.jpg (12277 bytes)

Hi there...this is me , Dave Blaine and I am the webmaster of this Super Cool Web-Site!

Let tell you a little about myself, I am 16 years old and live with my  family is a trailer park just outside Lizard Lick, NC. I currently don't have a girl friend ,but I am looking. I go to school and I have a job working as a bun boy at McDonald's. My boss said in 10 or 15 years I can be manager.

I work on this web-site in my spare time. Well enough about me, let me introduce my family!




MyMom.jpg (6588 bytes) This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day.


BrotherInJail.jpg (8077 bytes) This is my brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.


Grandmom.jpg (5831 bytes) My grand mom lives with us in our trailer. She's smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over. The flies are terrible.


MyDad.jpg (11433 bytes) My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing.


SisterJill.jpg (7213 bytes) My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident.


This is a jack-o-lantern my sister entered in a contest last year, I can not understand why she didn't win?


BrotherBarney.jpg (6841 bytes) We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is 27. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name.


Sue.jpg (7467 bytes) This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different. She has a disease that makes her itch.


Jethro.jpg (8234 bytes) Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath.


Dentist.jpg (6834 bytes) This is Buck. He is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth.


Larry.jpg (6327 bytes) This is my sisters boyfriend for now. His name is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy butt.


Michael.jpg (6708 bytes) This is Michael. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear.


2kids.jpg (10644 bytes) These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff no more.


Jake.jpg (11338 bytes) This is Jake, he holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet.


UncleMarky.jpg (15276 bytes) My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Vietnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store.


StepBrotherPhil.jpg (6785 bytes) This is my step brother Phil. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese.


bert.jpg (14812 bytes) This is my twin brother Bert. We were born 4 minutes apart. Bert made medical history when he fell out of my mom's ass during birth.  I hate him.


granny.jpg (8600 bytes) My great grandmother is lots of fun. She still chews tobacco and rides a bicycle. Grandma dates younger men with teeth.


zeke.jpg (8732 bytes) One of my mom's boyfriends. He has a rectal infection that makes him fart a lot. I think he caused our dog Rebel to die.


molly.jpg (8954 bytes) This is my sister Molly. Mom said she just showed up at our trailer home one day and never left. She bit the mailman. She loves to drink water from the toilet bowl.  She smokes cigarettes too. 


eddie.jpg (13566 bytes) My cousin Eddie went to New York this summer. A piece of the Statue Of Liberty fell off and hit him in the head. Eddie now has the I.Q. of a tomato plant.


willy.jpg (9996 bytes) We found Willy sleeping under our trailer one night. Mom is teaching him how to use toilet paper.


boomer.jpg (8983 bytes) This is my half brother Boomer. Boomer is going to be a policeman one day. He already patrols the interstate and stops the bad people.


walt.jpg (9916 bytes) Walt dates my grand mom. He grows pumpkins on 7 acres of land. He likes chasing grand mom through his pumpkin patch in his underwear.


smitty.jpg (8063 bytes) This is my 3rd cousin Smitty. Smitty works in a dog collar factory in the city. He works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Every electric dog collar is tested on Smitty before they are shipped to the store.


Paul.jpg (7070 bytes) This is my sister's boyfriend Paul. He is running for Mayor in the city. He hates kids and old people. Our neighbor Mrs. Dot is taking him to court for spitting on her baby. He also wants to ban wheelchairs in the city.



In closing, if you are a hott chick write @ okay, cute guys can write me too! Just don't tell my mom!